Count the Arrows
Leadership Leaves Marks
“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” — Simon Sinek
Early in my career, my view of leadership was simpler than I’d like to admit. Like most people at the start, I understood it largely in terms of authority — titles, decisions, and direction. It made sense at the time. I wasn’t wrong exactly. Experience just has a way of complicating things.
It took a few arrows to teach me otherwise.
While reading Loonshots by Safi Bahcall, I came across a quote from the legendary cancer researcher Dr. Judah Folkman that stopped me cold:
“You can tell a leader by counting the number of arrows in his ass.”
At first glance, it’s humorous. Then it stayed with me for a long time.
Because beneath the humor is a truth every leader eventually learns the hard way: leadership comes with battle scars. The more responsibility you take on, the more criticism, resistance, and setbacks you face. Those arrows represent doubts, pushback, hard conversations, decisions that don’t please everyone — and the weight of carrying it all anyway.
Real leadership leaves marks.
But here’s what I’ve observed about the best leaders I’ve known: they don’t back down from the arrows. They don’t let them define or defeat them. They absorb them, learn from them, and keep moving forward — wiser, more resilient, and better equipped to lead the next time.
And more than that — they use themselves as a shield.
The leaders I’ve admired most throughout my career had a quiet but powerful habit: they absorbed external pressures so their teams didn’t have to. They took the brunt of criticism. They deflected unnecessary distractions. They stood between their people and the noise — so their teams could stay focused on the work that mattered.
When the team succeeded, they celebrated the team. When things went wrong, they stepped forward.
That’s not weakness. That’s the whole job.
Martin Luther King Jr. once said: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Leadership is revealed not in the good times — but in the moments when the arrows are flying.
The arrows will come. They always do. But every arrow is a sign that you’re in the fight — doing the hard, necessary work that real leadership demands.
Wear them accordingly.
How do you respond to the arrows that come with leadership?
Great point. That’s the sign of a true leader!